Warm Yellow Glow

Are you part of a church? Do you feel like you belong there?

I’ve had the privilege and challenge of growing up moving from place to place, and this restlessness stayed with me even when I was an adult with the full scope of power over my life choices. I didn’t stick with any place, or group, or activity for very long. Church is a prime example.

I have been an attendee at over 30 churches in less than 7 years of adulthood. That’s more than 4 different churches per year on average.

There’s a difference between attending and being part of. But I actually wanted to be part of these churches (I didn’t count the ones I went to and never returned). As a believer, I know it is important to be around other believers, so church provides the opportunity to have a community around the faith, rather than keeping it an individual spiritual practice.

Human beings need each other, this is a scientifically proven fact. It’s as much fact as fact can be, that is to say. Christians, though they are born again, and the old has passed away, and a new creation is at work within them, are no different. It seems that this aspect of Humanity is not one that will pass away when God’s Kingdom is here in full, but rather part of what makes Mankind in the image of God. The new Adam needs community just as the old did.

In Genesis the Bible tells us that Adam was alone, and it was not good for Man to be alone. So back then, God made Eve, and Humanity became a Community, a Communion, a Union. A Unity. No one can be just himself. No one can exist by herself, without interdependence with other people. Certainly after one generation we’d all die out if that happened.

Back to the churches, though. I was looking for community with others in the faith. But the issue is this: Churches are organisations. And organisations are not perfect, far from it, they often suck. And, on top of that, they’re made up of Human beings, who are also not perfect, and often suck. So churches are a recipe for disaster.

For that reason, it wasn’t long before a church seriously let me down, or got something so horribly wrong that I didn’t want to be part of it. The News is evidence of how horribly wrong things can go in churches. Like anywhere else. Most pedophiles are not Catholic Priests, nor are most Catholic Priests pedophiles, and yet we know that some were, with horrific consequences. The organisation arguable enabled that particular strain of evil.

So if church organisations can go so horribly wrong, or even just on a smaller scale let us down, what’s the point of them, and does that just mean that church is not perfect, and sucks?

There’s a huge difference between a church and The Church.

That’s why I’m attending church again, and am part of the community of believers. Because the Church is bigger than any organisation, and any individual fallible human being. So let me illustrate a little of what I know about it, and how it relates back to actually going and belonging to a church.

Thanks to a beautiful couple of weeks surrounded by genuine believers, and the amazing experience of my brother’s wedding I learnt much. The wedding was a union between Man and Woman, like in Genesis. The sermon drew our awareness to the union of Christ with The Church, as Groom and Bride, and how this relates to what was happening on that day.

The Church is a spiritual body, made up of all of Humanity that is being transformed towards what is Eternal. Anyone can be part of that, by choosing to be identified with Christ- a believer is after all, becoming a part of the Church, which is the Bride of Christ. You can’t do that without being identified with Christ. The Church as the community of all believers, is the presence of the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth, the Kingdom of Heaven is made up of all that is Good and Beautiful and Right and of Eternal value.

The Bible is full of imagery of Light and Darkness. God is Light. One day God, who is the only eternal being, who always was, is and will be, will be all there is. In other words, there will be no more Darkness- dark is everything that is not Good, is Evil, twisted, Wicked, wrong, Bad, truly Ugly, cancer, Sin.

Darkness is not a thing, it is the absence of a thing, the absence of Light. And right now, it’s all around us. In fact, as I’m writing this, it is in the words of a house guest that I can overhear. But one day, all that is dark within us and in the World will be filled with Light and cease to exist.

Now God is Light, obviously, but how do we get to be part of that, in a world that is full of a strange mix of light and dark? Where the Good is tarnished by a cancerous Evil that speckles the Light with blots of Darkness.

Again, enter the Church. Jesus came, Jesus was the Light. Jesus said, where one or two of you are gathered in my name I will be with you. So the Light is among us when we are in community with each other in Jesus’ name. The Holy Spirit is amongst us. There can only be a Spirit if there is community, more than one person, because a spirit is something that exists between beings. There can be a spirit of fear, a spirit of despair, a spirit of excitement, or in fact The Holy Spirit.

Feel free to argue with me on some narrow-minded (or otherwise) theological dispute here, you may have guessed that I don’t subscribe to a particular rote-learned theory of how God works. I probably won’t argue with you, you’re probably right, it doesn’t matter. But if you’re willing to use your imagination and glean what you can from what I’m describing and not be threatened by it, then you may find it enriching, without a need to be right. We all see darkly now, and one day we’ll see clearly. Again, if there’s Light everywhere how could it be different?

So if The Holy Spirit is amongst us when we gather, and are in community, (a believer in relationship with Jesus is also a community, but more so when several believers are united). Light is amongst us. It lives amongst us. The Light lives in and through the Church. They are inseparable.

So we as “individuals” can be part of this body, this spiritual thing, the Church, the Bride of Christ. We can make our home there, we can belong there.

I had a mental image (would we call it a vision? I don’t because it seems wrong), I had a mental image of a warm, bright orange glow, a giant dome of golden light, which contained the Kingdom of God, the Church. I got to live inside of it, and feel just how special, and lovely it is to belong there. I also realised that it was my choice whether my home is within this Warm Yellow Light, what I suspect is The New Jerusalem of the Bible. It is our choice to make our home within its inviting, homely, glow, and to live within the Blessings, the reassurance, the comfort, the thrill, celebration, excitement, beauty, nourishment of this Kingdom. OR, just as I have done with churches, we can make our homes outside of it, and only duck inside for a visit when we really need to refuel our own light.

Well, the Light of the Kingdom of Heaven, the Church, is going to exist for ever, because it is in an inseparable Union with the Eternal Himself, with Jesus, who is God. Our lights are fickle and dim, a glimmering candle. Now, we can just pop in to the fireside to relight our candle occasionally, or we can take a seat around the fire with Jesus, and be part of the community.

It is unquestionably good to be part of The Church.

But what about churches?

Well, believers gather in churches.

Wherever believers gather in Jesus’ name, The Church exists.

So The Church exists in a lot of churches. Not all, because it is also possible for believers to gather in the name of other things, and not in Jesus’ name.

But it’s a great place to start, if in fact real community, real relationships with other believers are what we’re looking for.

Those relationships are where The Church becomes part of our day-today experience.

Now for me this means, I will be looking for a church that I can be a part of for a long time, because that would mean more consistent relationships with other believers. But I’m also not freaked out about needing to belong to a church, because I belong to The Church.

That doesn’t mean I get to be passive. That would suck anyway. Far from it, if my home is The Church, then I can’t get away from it. I don’t want to. So wherever I meet a believer, or even just a Human being with a spark of eternal light within them, there I am called to support this person, and the eternal light within them, as a brother or sister.

And when I go to a church I am also going to The Church, because I know it will be there, if I go in Jesus’ name.

That seems like a good place to end. Thank you for reading, I’m sure you can subscribe to this blog somehow should you wish.

I hope to see you in The Church.

Johannes